Quiet Nights
I'm tired. But I don't sleep. At night, after lying in bed, staring into the blackness, I walk to the window, stare out at the earth, glistening in white, as if the earth and the sky have changed places and the stars lay twinkling in the back lawn. It's quiet at night, a quiet I haven't known in a while, and in the silence my mind begins to talk to fill the emptiness and it's chatter keeps me awake. I've been trying to make a decision for weeks now. I keep weighing the options, crossing my fingers that something will point me in the right direction. I stress over the wrong decision, I waste money on the continual oscillation, I lose sleep over the minute details. And in the end, I've scared myself into immobility; afraid any move is the wrong move. I know I'm looking at it all wrong. I know there isn't a wrong a decision. I know it's all in my head. But still, I haven't moved. I have the opportunity to return to Korea for one month. One month...