Triumphs
I feel overwhelmed. A little lost. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride that finally has an end in sight, but I'm not sure I want to get off. I've been falling in love with Korea, forging a familiar island in a sea of unfamiliar. I've been making more of an effort to learn the language and spend time with friends and I'm starting to wonder if I'm ready to go home.
I'm counting my triumphs, however small they might appear: finally learning how to say "bathroom" or "I don't understand," dodging motorcycles, spending all night talking to a friend only to find myself walking home as fresh snow began to fall and the early morning light made it sparkle like glitter, admitting to my friends how lonely I've felt lately and feeling their supportive hugs, being told I look like I'm 25 by the handsome and muscly guy at my gym, and all of the moments my students say a complete sentence in English, knowing that I taught them that.
My work offered me a head teaching position for next year and they would even let me leave from March to July. It's all very tempting and with the anxiety I feel about going home, I'm almost willing to make the commitment. I haven't written in a while and it hasn't been for lack of stories, but rather, so many that I don't know which ones to choose, which ones I have time to write about.
Elisa, my Korean supervisor, has been trying to convince me to stay, promising money, vacation time, a new partnership teaching privates so we could make extra money and in her attempts to woo me, she offered to take Danielle and I for a day of spa treatment. Two hours of Korean massage for 40,000 won (roughly $35). With the stress of working five 12 hour days as a substitute for one of the other teachers, I was looking forward to a day of relaxation.
On Sunday morning, Danielle and I waited at the bus top in the cold morning, chatting about what we thought the Korean massage might entail. We'd both heard stories about these, and if you're a man, there is a special Korean massage you can get, often referred to as a Sports Massage. These massages happen in the buildings with the double barber poles...along with other 'man only' services. After 20 minutes of watching our breath like smoke in the cold air, we hailed a taxi, whose driver promptly put on a cd of American 80's hairband ballads. They can be so thoughtful sometimes.
When we arrived in Yangju, Elisa met us outside the massage place. The place reminded me of someone's apartment, with three Korean women sitting around a short table on the floor drinkng tea and folding laundry. The thing about Korea is...you never wear your shoes inside, even in restaurants, and you always sit on the floor, which is heated by water pipes running beneath it. This is the general rule, unless you are eating in a western place. So, walking in to this scene has started to feel very normal.
After some tea, they led us a small room with three beds in it. The other thing about Korea is that all lighting is bright florescent lighting, even when you're getting a massage. So, the room was lit up like Times Square and each bed was covered in thick plastic with one of those furry blankets that were popular in the 80's with pictures of deer or cartoons or some wintery landscape on them. Seconds after laying down on the bed, one of the women began massaging my face. I've never had a face massage before and I'd always thought it sounded a little strange. But this wasn't strange. It was painful. She used her knuckles to dig into the sides of my face and rub back and forth, apparently to make my face smaller (a coveted beauty aspect). Then, she started digging her fingers into my back. I tried to hold myself up a little so I wasn't putting all of my weight on her hands, but she just pressed harder. At one point, I made a small whimper and she said something in Korean, which was roughly translated by Elisa, as "Let her know if it hurts too much." I'm no wimp, but after two hours of pushing and slapping and punching and smacking...I was feeling like I'd been out drinking all night and had fallen down a flight of stairs.
But, before it was over, she went back to my face, grinding her knuckles into it one more time, where she promptly told Elisa that my face was so small she didn't have anything to work on. Maybe that explains why it felt like my skin was just being ground into my bones. When it was all finished, and I was huddled in the waiting area, watching one of the ladies dip her hands in parrafin wax, I felt so exhausted I just wanted to fall asleep.
As we were leaving, one of the women handed Danielle and I a bag with a hand crocheted rug in it as a gift for us. If it wasn't so painful, I would probably go back, but when I woke up the next morning with bruises on my back and my legs, I thought twice about it.
After the massage, Elisa drove us to a little restaurant thirty minutes away for some barbequed eel, which is apparently really healthy and good for skin. Everything in Korea is good for something or famous somehow, or can help 'men' in some way. Being around Koreans always makes me appreciate the culture here more. The trouble is, Koreans are not that easy to get to know and I've found myself having to be more direct when asking some of my Korean friends if they would like to do something. Once they've made friends, they are extremely loyal and often remain friends for life. I suppose it has a lot to do with the fact that Koreans will never walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation, they are not superficial by any means and value friendship greatly. Obviously, this is a generalization, but I definitely admire this about the culture.
It's almost Christmas, which is maybe why I'm feeling nostalgic, or maybe it's that I'm finally settling in and realizing I'll be resettling in a few months. Or maybe I just miss my best friend. Or maybe it's that I found out that a friend of mine just passed away. Went to sleep and never woke up. But, everything that has happened this year has made me realize how blessed I am to have such wonderful people in my life. Even this experience, so far away from all of you, would not be the same if I didn't have you in my life. Thank you.
I've started to forget the things I found so odd here when I first arrived, and have often found myself wondering if these are things we do at home. So, here's a short list...can you remind me if these are normal things in the States?
1. When you order delivery, the food comes in glass dishes and when you're finished, you put the dirty dishes outside and the delivery people come and pick it up.
2. Being able to drink beer or liquor outside. Most convenient stores have plastic tables and chairs for people to hang out.
3. Handing things with both hands.
4. Bowing when you say hello.
5. Asking someone's age is a sign of respect and one of the first things you ask someone so that you can find out if the proper way to speak to that person.
6. Eating kimchi with everything.
7. Really bad pop songs
8. Finding random drunk people passed out in your stairwell. Or seeing business men passed out on the street in suits early in the morning or early evening.
9. Strangers sleeping on your shoulder on the subway.
10. People staring at you because you look different.
11. People asking if you're Russian (to find out if you're really a prostitute).
12. People refusing service because you don't speak the language.
13. Old women patting your butt and smiling.
14. Smoking at the gym
15. Eating everything with chopsticks and a spoon...always eating with two hands.
I'm counting my triumphs, however small they might appear: finally learning how to say "bathroom" or "I don't understand," dodging motorcycles, spending all night talking to a friend only to find myself walking home as fresh snow began to fall and the early morning light made it sparkle like glitter, admitting to my friends how lonely I've felt lately and feeling their supportive hugs, being told I look like I'm 25 by the handsome and muscly guy at my gym, and all of the moments my students say a complete sentence in English, knowing that I taught them that.
My work offered me a head teaching position for next year and they would even let me leave from March to July. It's all very tempting and with the anxiety I feel about going home, I'm almost willing to make the commitment. I haven't written in a while and it hasn't been for lack of stories, but rather, so many that I don't know which ones to choose, which ones I have time to write about.
Elisa, my Korean supervisor, has been trying to convince me to stay, promising money, vacation time, a new partnership teaching privates so we could make extra money and in her attempts to woo me, she offered to take Danielle and I for a day of spa treatment. Two hours of Korean massage for 40,000 won (roughly $35). With the stress of working five 12 hour days as a substitute for one of the other teachers, I was looking forward to a day of relaxation.
On Sunday morning, Danielle and I waited at the bus top in the cold morning, chatting about what we thought the Korean massage might entail. We'd both heard stories about these, and if you're a man, there is a special Korean massage you can get, often referred to as a Sports Massage. These massages happen in the buildings with the double barber poles...along with other 'man only' services. After 20 minutes of watching our breath like smoke in the cold air, we hailed a taxi, whose driver promptly put on a cd of American 80's hairband ballads. They can be so thoughtful sometimes.
When we arrived in Yangju, Elisa met us outside the massage place. The place reminded me of someone's apartment, with three Korean women sitting around a short table on the floor drinkng tea and folding laundry. The thing about Korea is...you never wear your shoes inside, even in restaurants, and you always sit on the floor, which is heated by water pipes running beneath it. This is the general rule, unless you are eating in a western place. So, walking in to this scene has started to feel very normal.
After some tea, they led us a small room with three beds in it. The other thing about Korea is that all lighting is bright florescent lighting, even when you're getting a massage. So, the room was lit up like Times Square and each bed was covered in thick plastic with one of those furry blankets that were popular in the 80's with pictures of deer or cartoons or some wintery landscape on them. Seconds after laying down on the bed, one of the women began massaging my face. I've never had a face massage before and I'd always thought it sounded a little strange. But this wasn't strange. It was painful. She used her knuckles to dig into the sides of my face and rub back and forth, apparently to make my face smaller (a coveted beauty aspect). Then, she started digging her fingers into my back. I tried to hold myself up a little so I wasn't putting all of my weight on her hands, but she just pressed harder. At one point, I made a small whimper and she said something in Korean, which was roughly translated by Elisa, as "Let her know if it hurts too much." I'm no wimp, but after two hours of pushing and slapping and punching and smacking...I was feeling like I'd been out drinking all night and had fallen down a flight of stairs.
But, before it was over, she went back to my face, grinding her knuckles into it one more time, where she promptly told Elisa that my face was so small she didn't have anything to work on. Maybe that explains why it felt like my skin was just being ground into my bones. When it was all finished, and I was huddled in the waiting area, watching one of the ladies dip her hands in parrafin wax, I felt so exhausted I just wanted to fall asleep.
As we were leaving, one of the women handed Danielle and I a bag with a hand crocheted rug in it as a gift for us. If it wasn't so painful, I would probably go back, but when I woke up the next morning with bruises on my back and my legs, I thought twice about it.
After the massage, Elisa drove us to a little restaurant thirty minutes away for some barbequed eel, which is apparently really healthy and good for skin. Everything in Korea is good for something or famous somehow, or can help 'men' in some way. Being around Koreans always makes me appreciate the culture here more. The trouble is, Koreans are not that easy to get to know and I've found myself having to be more direct when asking some of my Korean friends if they would like to do something. Once they've made friends, they are extremely loyal and often remain friends for life. I suppose it has a lot to do with the fact that Koreans will never walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation, they are not superficial by any means and value friendship greatly. Obviously, this is a generalization, but I definitely admire this about the culture.
It's almost Christmas, which is maybe why I'm feeling nostalgic, or maybe it's that I'm finally settling in and realizing I'll be resettling in a few months. Or maybe I just miss my best friend. Or maybe it's that I found out that a friend of mine just passed away. Went to sleep and never woke up. But, everything that has happened this year has made me realize how blessed I am to have such wonderful people in my life. Even this experience, so far away from all of you, would not be the same if I didn't have you in my life. Thank you.
I've started to forget the things I found so odd here when I first arrived, and have often found myself wondering if these are things we do at home. So, here's a short list...can you remind me if these are normal things in the States?
1. When you order delivery, the food comes in glass dishes and when you're finished, you put the dirty dishes outside and the delivery people come and pick it up.
2. Being able to drink beer or liquor outside. Most convenient stores have plastic tables and chairs for people to hang out.
3. Handing things with both hands.
4. Bowing when you say hello.
5. Asking someone's age is a sign of respect and one of the first things you ask someone so that you can find out if the proper way to speak to that person.
6. Eating kimchi with everything.
7. Really bad pop songs
8. Finding random drunk people passed out in your stairwell. Or seeing business men passed out on the street in suits early in the morning or early evening.
9. Strangers sleeping on your shoulder on the subway.
10. People staring at you because you look different.
11. People asking if you're Russian (to find out if you're really a prostitute).
12. People refusing service because you don't speak the language.
13. Old women patting your butt and smiling.
14. Smoking at the gym
15. Eating everything with chopsticks and a spoon...always eating with two hands.
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