Home?
12 hours is a long time to spend in an airport. It's a long time to be left alone to recap the last year and a half of my life. To think about all the pitfalls and all the triumphs, all the details that get glossed over when every moment is filled to the brim. I sat, for 12 hours in the Bangkok airport, watching people and thinking.
We made it through our second full moon, Sebastian and I, we survived the onslaught of drunken revelers. And when it was over, in our sleepy recovery, we hashed a plan. We'd meet again, when this was all over, when our holiday came to an end. Until that moment, we had both resigned ourselves to the fact that when June came we would go our separate ways: Seb to England, me to the States. In our little bungalow in Haad Rin, we decided separating wasn't an option, that things couldn't just end because of geography. We made a pact to meet again in August, after both of us had sorted out all that we needed.
So, once all of the full moon dust settled and we paid all of our debts, we escaped, determined to make the most of our remaining 3 weeks. We spent a week on a secluded beach, camped on a national park island, hiked in the jungle, went skinny dipping in a waterfall, lounged in a hotel room and gorged ourselves on gourmet sandwiches from the nicest grocery store I've been to since November 2007. And we laughed, we laughed sometimes until I cried.
I started thinking about something I wrote in my last blog: "How do you share your life with someone when it doesn't feel like your life?" And I figured it out, something I knew all along. I shared more than my life with Seb, I shared who I am underneath all of the external life events, who I am at the core, and that's the same no matter where I am or how different my life may seem.
This is what I thought about in the airport. I didn't think about Korea. Korea felt like such a tiny blip on the scale compared to the adventures I've had in Thailand. But, after an overnight plane ride and an hour bus ride, I returned to my apartment in Uijeongbu, Korea, and it felt like returning home. It felt so familiar. And for the first time, I realized I would miss that life. When I got back on the bus later that day to return to the airport, Animal rode on my lap, and together, the two of us made the remaining 30 hour journey back to Portland.
This arrival back to a life I left, has been strange. Maybe it's the rain, or the lack of a telephone or car, but I feel more alone than I have in a long time. Or maybe I'm just missing Seb and the sunshine.
The adventure is over...or maybe, it's merely the beginning.
We made it through our second full moon, Sebastian and I, we survived the onslaught of drunken revelers. And when it was over, in our sleepy recovery, we hashed a plan. We'd meet again, when this was all over, when our holiday came to an end. Until that moment, we had both resigned ourselves to the fact that when June came we would go our separate ways: Seb to England, me to the States. In our little bungalow in Haad Rin, we decided separating wasn't an option, that things couldn't just end because of geography. We made a pact to meet again in August, after both of us had sorted out all that we needed.
So, once all of the full moon dust settled and we paid all of our debts, we escaped, determined to make the most of our remaining 3 weeks. We spent a week on a secluded beach, camped on a national park island, hiked in the jungle, went skinny dipping in a waterfall, lounged in a hotel room and gorged ourselves on gourmet sandwiches from the nicest grocery store I've been to since November 2007. And we laughed, we laughed sometimes until I cried.
I started thinking about something I wrote in my last blog: "How do you share your life with someone when it doesn't feel like your life?" And I figured it out, something I knew all along. I shared more than my life with Seb, I shared who I am underneath all of the external life events, who I am at the core, and that's the same no matter where I am or how different my life may seem.
This is what I thought about in the airport. I didn't think about Korea. Korea felt like such a tiny blip on the scale compared to the adventures I've had in Thailand. But, after an overnight plane ride and an hour bus ride, I returned to my apartment in Uijeongbu, Korea, and it felt like returning home. It felt so familiar. And for the first time, I realized I would miss that life. When I got back on the bus later that day to return to the airport, Animal rode on my lap, and together, the two of us made the remaining 30 hour journey back to Portland.
This arrival back to a life I left, has been strange. Maybe it's the rain, or the lack of a telephone or car, but I feel more alone than I have in a long time. Or maybe I'm just missing Seb and the sunshine.
The adventure is over...or maybe, it's merely the beginning.
mmmmmmmmm sigh mmmmmmm yes
ReplyDeleteI love to check in on these once in a while. I am a fan or a follower just not registered!
ReplyDeleteI prefer to think it is merely the begining. I know its not the same but I just moved my life less than a year ago, and it is tough in the begining. I still wonder wear I belong. This I do know, there are many new beginings and they may or may not be what you planned for, but it makes for an interesting life.